What am I? by Mark Jobanputra

I am both microcosmic and macrocosmic, I am not a simulacrum, I am very much universally known. A most powerful entity who cannot detach itself from all lines of thinking. Mobbing and pillaging all sense of worthiness and power is far too easy because I am a soothsayer. Roaring through time, I am the best and worst thing that could ever happen. I am past and present. Every day I dive into human perception; I plunge deeper and deeper into the brain until I drown. Grabbing onto the simple and complex, I can slice away at all, but I can always rebuild it. Rarely do I never visit, I am always there. I jump through sunrise and sunset to see you. How sweet. Eating away at every entity is just what I do. It is my lifeblood and it is yours too. Don’t ever deny it. To garrotte your thoughts and subvert them is the best and only skill I have in my arsenal. Straightaway I become full of yourself. Believe me when I say you taste awful.

I push you into that which you would never think of doing, but I always pull you away from it. You better thank me before you embarrass before yourself further. I am the cattle prod which brandishes the brain. The anxiety and depression burn through the white matter to seer the grey matter to make you think you still have fire in your belly. Hmph, how naïve. I am the torrent of tears in your eye tearing away at every crevice of skin after seeing her in the adjacent room fuck a ‘good friend’ of yours. I am the failure on paper and mind as a result of avoidance. I am omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent and omnimalevolent. I warn you, but still, you do not listen. I am the best and worst writer of destinies. I am the before and after.
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I am the idea you didn’t write down; I am the idea you wrote down. I am the situation which got fucked up, I am the situation which didn’t get fucked up. I am the first and last beer which got you fucked up. I am both possible and impossible to deal with. I am the dealer of cards; I am the shuffler of cards. Oh, come on, you have to play! No really, YOU have to play. I am the first and last purchase. I am the money you accrue; I am the money you lost. I am the punch you threw; I am the punch you didn’t throw. I am physical pain; I am mental pain. I am the whisperer of the unconscious mind and yet I am oh-so loud. I am the puppy you let run into the road full of cars, I am the puppy on the street you didn’t pet. I am the parents you never you had, I am the ‘immaculate conception.’
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I keep going on and on, I never stop. I am always lurking. I have been there since the beginning; I will also be at the end. People have studied why I’m around; they have concluded that there are speculation and fact. Well, I am speculation and fact. I am the stab in the back, I am the stab in the heart, I am the stab in the brain. I speed through each vein like a heroin high to keep me and you intact. I am not tactful; I will go through anyone to different extents. I am the man you keep falling on during your trip through the various networks of the underground, I am the svelte looking girl waltzing through the city who you constantly pass yet never talk to, I am the relative who hates you and vice versa. I am just apart of human nature, I don’t know whether I nestle into the brains of the extra-terrestrial because I don’t know if they are as real as you and me, nor do I know whether they are ‘blessed’ with brains. I don’t know whether Atlantis exists or whether it is bound to its Platonic origins, but if it is real, I am submerged in the cold, cold seas of its population. No matter how much you try, nobody can get rid of me. Am I sorry about it? No.
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I have no remorse, there is no recourse, of course, you have to deal with the seething nature of my very existence as do you. People see me as rather coarse; I follow you from birth until you become a corpse. I am the voice on your deathbed saying ‘I wish I did more.’ My cause isn’t to place you in nightmares, I could be the cause your wildest dreams. I am there to heighten your self-esteem, albeit in strange ways, but I can always rip it at the seams. It seems to me you don’t want me to be around, that is a real shame because I have grown to like you. Why else would I be doing this? I am both the cancer of humanity, but I am also the healer. I am the untold joke in social situations, I am the unhinged cringe wafting through the air when the last syllable leaves your mouth. I am the gaping wound, I will leave your heart, brain and soul agape. I am a soulless entity, but I have enough soul to help you. I shall console you until you become better. I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn’t, why would I say I am? What am I?